staring at fabric

i met someone fairly new at work today.  she is lovely.  i was entranced by her beautiful smile and her joy.  she couldn’t stop smiling.  after only a minute of introducing ourselves to each other she starting right in telling me her story.  {my heart is aching and stirring as i know i can’t tell it to you out of respect for her.  and so this post becomes mostly for me to find relief as i shout out in angst, “WHEN will this end?  LORD JESUS please come…”}

the story is what good novels are made of but never meant for real life.  as i listened i winced and just shook my head and started tearing up.  all the while she is holding my hand saying, “but God has brought me here and i am so thankful!  when i am here i am able to work and it helps me to forget the pain and not think of it all day long.  i am happy to be here to talk with other friends.  you know the more you talk about it, it helps the pain go away and you know you are not alone.  i am just so thankful to God.”  {some paraphrasing here on my part.}  i softly smiled an “i-just-met-you-but-i-love-you-and-i’m-so-sorry-you’ve-been-hurt-in-this-way” smile.  and her lovely joyful true smile brightened and said she looks forward to seeing me again tomorrow.  she walks away.  and all i can do is look down and stare at a pile of fabric.  i am completely immobilized.

sometimes these moments smack you in the face hard.  {but never as hard as the one who lived it first-hand.}  hours later and at home now, my heart is still staring at the fabric.  heavier than a weight i’ll never be able to lift.  thankfully Jesus can.

thank you Lord for this place that offers hope and healing only You can bring.

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