not overwhelmed… stunned!

“God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways, He does great things beyond our understanding.” Job 37:5

The last week and a half I’ve been considering a shift in thought.  When I began the new year I was excited about life.  When I got to Kenya and lived there for the first two weeks, it was incredible, but to be honest, I was feeling overwhelmed.  {Am I supposed to be here?  Am I supposed to come back?  How will this all ever work? Etc, etc, etc.}  During my stay at Maili Saba on the 2nd weekend I found myself getting anxious, asking God a bunch of questions about my future.  As I was sitting in the camera view above, He turned my ahead to observe the magnificent crater on my right and in all of His beauty He told me to be still and enjoy today.  {Sigh…  Why is that such a hard lesson for me?}  So I decided I would try His advice… hahaha… When I got to my third Monday I was OVERJOYED with the realization that my feelings of being overwhelmed had transformed into feelings of being STUNNED.  Wait a minute… Are you telling me God, that I can have the life I’ve dreamed of?  No, no, no… wait a minute, are You saying You really might do this?!  FOR REAL, you’ll take care of all these details, in Your power to do more than I could ever ask or dream of?!!?!  There are so many stories that testify to answering YES to those questions!  {Ask me about them!}  I don’t know all of the answers and I have no idea how He’ll do it… and I promise I won’t always be this annoyingly happy about it either!  But it is my life in His hands… my life in His hands… and I am sitting here today truly stunned at how good He is.  Letting go, releasing your life to Him, over and over, is the only way.

Today is a good day.  My friends got their visa for their little girl today and can finally come home from Kenya!  Thank you Lord!  The sun is out.  I am fed.  I just learned yesterday that a really good friend of mine is pregnant!  I have a new part-time amazing job in AA while I raise support.  Taking care of this little baby is a blessing.  I come home from work relaxed and peaceful now.  I have energy!  Other friends are starting adoptions.  My family is healthy and I get to see my niece and nephews soon {Lord willing}… God is transforming me all over again and it feels ethereal.

“Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10

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